A Prairie Home Companion: March 21, 2009

ELCA
Saturday, March 21, 2009

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GK: In tough economic times you need therapy more than ever, but who do you choose? Do you choose a therapist who'll make you feel good? (HARP)

SS (ETHEREAL): I want you to visualize yourself as an beautiful swan covered with golden feathers. And the sun is shining and you're filled with happy feelings.

GK: Or do you go to a Midwestern therapist who'll tell it to you straight—

SS (EVELYN): So she left ya, huh? Well. I saw that coming. Like a big Mack truck. Cause you know that's what you get when you treat people like you treated her. You get a big pie in the snoot and you deserve it. Oh, and you're gonna feel bad now? Just suck it up! Suck it up and push through the pain now-

GK: Yes, it's tempting to go for what makes you feel good.

(HARP)

SS (ETHEREAL): I want you to visualize beams of sunlight coming down through a hole in the clouds.

GK: But wouldn't you really rather get the truth? And that means the ELCA, the Evelyn Lundberg Counselling Agency.

SS: You ever hear of impulse control? Huh? Ring a bell? Not grabbing whatever you want when you want it? Anybody ever talk to you about that? Wake up and smell the coffee and I don't mean the double mocha cinnamon nutmeg latte with sprinkles. I mean the kind you make in a percolator on the stove. Four bucks for a cup of coffee that's mostly milk? What kind of mushrooms have you been eating? Grow up. And get over yourself. Other people have problems too so don't think you're so special because you're not, you're no different than anybody else so just get a grip for pete's sake and don't come crying to me everytime somebody pees on your sugar bread because that's just how life is so get used to it.

GK: The ELCA...the Evelyn Lundberg Counseling Agency. It hurts but it's good for you.