A Prairie Home Companion: June 28, 2008

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Saturday, June 28, 2008

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GK: After this message from the Professional Organization of English Majors. Sentence consruction is so important and a badly-constructed sentence can cause confusion for years and years. Like this one.

TR: A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.

GK: What does this mean? Anybody can have a gun? Or just people who belong to a Militia? Or just people on the fringe?

TR: A well regulated Militia, comma, being necessary to the security of a free State, comma, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, comma, shall not be infringed, period. — That means I can have this gun and if you want to take it away from me, English major— go ahead. Make my day. (GUNSHOT)

GK: The shot went wildly off target as the English major, moving with the swiftness of a puma, kicked the gun out of the non-Militiaman's hand —(

TR: OOOFFF) — and simultaneously pressed his thumb to the gunman's right temporal lobe , directing blood to the syntax cortex.

TR: I no longer feel the urge to bear arms, now that acupressure has made me aware of the power of words. Thanks, English Major.

GK: A message from the Professional Organization of English Majors.