 |
Rhubarb
Saturday,
November 22, 2003
Listen
GK: This portion of our show is brought to you by Bebopareebop Rhubarb Pie and frozen pie filling.
(HARBOR SOUNDS) You're in San Diego to visit Sea World and see the sea lions (SFX) and the dolphins (SFX) ----- there's a whole dolphin show (FN BARKER ON CHEAP P.A.: SEE THE DOLPHINS. THIS WAY. THE SHOW IS CONTINUOUS) ----- the dolphins sing (SFX), they dance (SFX), they ride bicycles (SFX) ----- and there's a humpback whale who sings with a band ----sings SIXTEEN TONS (SFX) ------ and there's lap dancing by seals (SFX), and Murray the sea lion who sings Led Zeppelin's "A WHOLE LOTTA LOVE" (SFX) and it's kind of over-the-top for an aquarium and then you figure it out ---- it's competition ---- there's a new aquarium called Sea Cosmos and they have a porpoise who does THE FLIGHT OF THE BUMBLEBEE (SFX) plus two seals and a croft who play guitar duets (SFX) and a jazz walrus who plays "ON GREEN DOLPHIN STREET" (WALRUS SINGING) and an octopus who does "Yellow Submarine" on a pneumatic jackhammer (SFX) while two ducks sing "Purple Haze" (SFX) ---- and then Sea World lost some patronage until they brought in a whole shark show, fifty killer sharks in a cage match with a thousand piranhas (SFX) and then Sea Cosmos came back with a re-enactment of the sinking of the Titanic" (SHIP'S HORN, CRUNCH, CRIES OF TERROR, ALARM, RUNNING FEET, MUFFLED EXPLOSIONS, VOICE ON P.A: To the boats! VIOLIN PLAYING: Nearer My God To Thee, CRUNCHING AND CRACKLING, BIG MUFFLED EXPLOSIONS AND SINKING) ---- except all the passengers are rescued at the last minute by dolphins (SFX) ----- anyway, you're in San Diego at Sea World and you lose your balance and fall into the tank (FN CRY AND SPLASH) and you sink (BUBBLES) just as a dolphin gooses you (DOLPHIN) and you leap from the deep (FN HOLLER) but minus your pants (FN WHOAAAA) and the crowd goes wild (SFX) and now you're in show business ---- an exotic male diver ---- and you come out onstage six times a day nude except for a hibiscus and play ALOHA OE on your nose and climb a wall with toilet plungers attached to your feet (SFX) and play Nola on your cheeks (SFX) ---- not those cheeks, the other cheeks (SFX) and you do and suddenly you feel a big flipper around your shoulders (SEA LION) ---- it's a sea lioness ----- and she's in love with you (SEA LION) ----- all 800 pounds of her (SEA LION) ------ now there are two flippers around you (SEA LION PASSION) and you run (RUNNING BARE FEET, PANIC) and she follows you (SEA LION IN LOVE) and you trip and you fall into the tank (SPLASH) where the whale is (WHALE) and he swallows you (SFX) and you go down his throat (REVERB, SFX) and you sit there (PANTING, REVERB) and now you try to think: what was it the Lord told you to do that you didn't? So many things, it's hard to choose just one. (CRY FOR HELP, REVERB) (RHUBARB PIE THEME)
Wouldn't this be a good time for a piece of rhubarb pie? Nothing gets the taste of humiliation, imminent financial insolvency, and involuntary public nudity out of your mouth like Bebopareebop Rhubarb Pie.
(SINGS)
One little thing can revive a guy
And that is a piece of rhubarb pie
Serve it up, nice and hot
Maybe things aren't as bad as you thought
(DUET)
Mama's little baby loves rhubarb, rhubarb
Bebopareebop rhubarb pie
Mama's little baby loves rhubarb, rhubarb
Bebopareebop rhubarb pie
Bebopareebop rhubarb pie
| | | |
| |
