A Prairie Home Companion with Garrison Keillor

Dear Garrison,

As a man approaching the middle of life, I have decided that for my 34th birthday, I would enjoy somthing different to mark the occasion. After much thought on the subject, I've hit upon the idea of a singing mammagram. I've heard little on the subject and am not sure of all the particulars but, it seems like something kind and pleasant and perhaps just alittle exotic. To that end, I've made it a point lately to try to drop the hint to some of my female acquaintances but, am not sure that any of them have 'picked up the ball', so to speak. Perhaps, if you were to champion the idea of Singing Mammagrams in one of your skits or monologues, one of them might hear you and say "hey, that's what I'll give Ross for his birthday this year!"

On the subject of fart jokes (certainly a rich vein of humor but, tricky to mine successfully)it seems to me that people are more accepting of it when the source of the methain is not human but, animal.(dogs, cats, etc.) One of the funniest skits I ever heard was on a comedy album by National Lampoon entitled "That's not funny that sick". The skit was a public service announcement and featured the sounds of an underwater recording made off the coast of California of whales with obvious and severe gas problems. The announcer concludes his talk with the plea to "please save the humpback whales before they blast themselves into extinction."

Keep Smiling;)

Ross Walton

Dear Ross,

The phrase Singing Mammogram is hilarious. I don't know what follows it. I'm sure that we'd get in deep trouble for this joke, but ---- I don't know what the second part is. GK