Rhubarb script

GK: ...brought to you by Bebopareebop Rhubarb Pie.

Finally it’s summer and the sound of the lawnmower is heard (SFX) and the sound of the motorboat (SFX) and people are out walking their jaguars (SFX), and their pet llamas (SFX) and it’s beautiful (TK BIG OPERATIC SING) and you feel wonderful. thing is to blow up the inflatable swimming pool (SFX) and you blew it up last year and this year it seems twice as big (SFX) and it takes you longer and you’re about to black out and then you see there’s a leak in it and you stop— and you’re dizzy (SFX) and disoriented and you pick up your kid’s softball bat and go in and bash those unicorns (BERSERK CRIES, SMASHING GLASS) just as your wife comes in through the front door. You go into the garage (AUTOMATIC GARAGE DOOR OPENS) and you rummage around in the stuff (RUMMAGING) and you find the wind chimes (WIND CHIMES) and you put those up and it’s wonderful (CHIMES) and you feel at peace with the world (BIRDS) and with all of nature— it’s all one and you’re part of it (TK: OMMMMM) and what the universe seems to be telling you is — Peace to all living things. Walk lightly in the world — cause no harm or pain to anyone and you see a huge deerfly (DEERFLY) And you remember the last time a deerfly bit you — he took a piece of your scalp and the next week all your hair fell out — (TK DETERMINATION) — you grab the shotgun (LOADING) and you put a couple shells in it and you give chase (RUN NING FEET, DEERFLY) and you chase him upstairs (SFX) and he’s there in the bathroom and he lands on the shower curtain and you take a swing at him(THUMP)—missed. (THUMP THUMP THUMP) Missed, (DEERFLY), and he lands on the toilet and (SHOTGUN) and you hit the hot water pipe (WATER GUSHER), and he flies out the window (DEERFLY) and he’s gone so you go back to your chores and you blow up the inflatable swimming pool (SFX) — last year you did it and you got dizzy and disoriented so this year you bought a pump (PULL ROPE, START ENGINE) and you start it up and it pumps up the swimming pool really fast (SFX) and really big— (SFX) suddenly the swimming pool is as big as your house and it’s starting to rise in the air (SFX) and you grab hold of it (SFX) as it rises and suddenly you are drifting high over the housetops (SFX) hanging on for dear life and (DEERFLY) there is a deerfly coming in at 2 o’clock high. Wouldn’t this be a good time for a piece of rhubarb pie? Nothing gets the taste of shame and humiliation out of your mouth quite like Bebopareebop Rhubarb Pie—

(RHUBARB CHEER): R-H-U-B-A-R-B (CLAPS) MAKES A PERSON WILD AND FREE (DRUMS) L-I-B-E-R-T-Y (CLAPS) SERVE IT IN A CAKE OR PIE (DRUMS) BEBOPAREEBOP BEBOPAREEBOP BEBOPAREEBOP ...YEAH.